Wake up. The 9–5 was the real simulation all along.

You thought the Matrix was coded? Try onboarding portals, performance reviews, and “circle back” emails.
This satirical CV reads like a whistleblower report from inside the HR-industrial complex.
Turns out, professionalism is just capitalism’s best disguise — and burnout? That’s a feature, not a bug: https://open.substack.com/pub/noisyghost/p/professional-polished-permanently?r=5fir91&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false