Trump to Lower Drug Prices by 1,000% – Big Pharma to Pay You to Take Meds Now, Apparently

So in today’s episode of “Math Is a Liberal Conspiracy,” Trump just announced he’s going to lower drug prices by 1,000 percent.

Yes. One. Thousand. Percent.

You thought getting insulin for $35 was a win? Amateurs. Under Trump’s master plan, not only will your insulin be free you’ll get a check, a foot rub, and maybe a complimentary MAGA hat for your troubles.

Imagine walking into CVS:

Pharmacist: “That’ll be -$450. Here’s your prescription, and here’s your refund in cash, small bills OK?”

Apparently, the new pricing model is “reverse extortion.” Drug companies are now paying you for the privilege of keeping you alive.

And the way we’re going to achieve this, according to the speech? Threatening to tariff German cars until Pfizer gives us free Advil. Genius. International economic policy meets back-alley hostage negotiation.

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-uses-unhinged-maga-math-in-bonkers-drugs-brag/

Next up:

• Gas prices down 2000% (you get gas and a free Tesla)
• National debt lowered by 7000% (we sell the moon to aliens)
• Unemployment cut by infinity% (everyone gets 3 jobs whether they want them or not)

Can’t wait for 2028 when we all have negative cancer and Big Pharma owes us all houses.

Btw how does it feel Americans, after turning up against your greatest buddy Canada. We’ve entered a world where threatening Canada is somehow presidential policy. You’d think we found oil under Ottawa or something. Living large with $8 eggs, international beefs with people who speak English, and a president who thinks strongman energy is a love language.

Peak diplomacy. 10/10. Would alienate allies again.