Old people are so bad at mimicking Gen Z.

“my old man”

“Swept that spot”

**Robinson:** bruh im still like… ok ig?? stuck in orem rn 💀 won’t be long til i dip home. gotta grab smth first tho 👀
**Roomie:** wdym grab smth?? it’s not like… YOU right??
**Robinson:** 😬 yea… it’s me, srry lol
**Roomie:** NAH bro they said they caught sum old boomer dude??
**Robinson:** fake news 💀 they bagged some random npcs. i was gonna snag my piece after but whole side of town got locked tf down.
**Roomie:** why’d u even—
**Robinson:** why? man got max hatred stat. couldn’t negotiate that irl 😔 if i get my rifle back w/out getting clipped i’m basically ghosted fr.
**Roomie:** …how long u been on this arc??
**Robinson:** like a week n change. i can see it but there’s a cop car gatekeeping the bush rn 💀
**Robinson:** lowkey regret not grabbing it when i exfil’d. dad finna mald if i lose grandpa’s rifle 💀 idek if it has serials tbh. prints are what i’m shook about. stashed it in some random shrub when i did the outfit swap.
**Robinson:** ngl i might just abandon it… tell my dad “idk lol.” bro gon’ ratio me irl.
**Robinson:** only thing left was the rifle wrapped burrito-style in a towel.
**Robinson:** also remember when i was engraving bullets w/ memes? 💀 if fox news ever reports “notices bulge uwu 👉👈” im uninstalling from reality 💀💀💀 scope alone was like 2k, gg.
**Robinson:** delete this whole chat btw, feds on lurk mode 👀
**Robinson:** dad calling rn, wants rifle pics. apparently it’s “unique” 🤡 he’s been MAGA brainrot since 2016. not answering.
**Robinson:** thinking i just speedrun jail any%. neighbor’s a sheriff deputy anyway.
**Robinson:** u the only one i care about rn fr <3
**Roomie:** im worried about u dumbass
**Robinson:** don’t talk to journos, don’t farm clout, just say “lawyer” and dip.

I think we should be very open minded to the possibility that they want us to see how fake this is