Manufacturing the Deadhead

I just finished listening to Manufacturing the Deadhead by Joe Atwill and Jan Irvin, and I don’t think I’ll ever look at the 60s the same way again. The idea that the counterculture—especially the psychedelic scene and bands like the Grateful Dead—may have been intentionally steered or even created by intelligence agencies is terrifying me. They bring up real connections between figures in the scene and military or academic institutions like MKULTRA, the Tavistock Institute, and the CIA.

What really messed with me is how deeply personal it all feels. I’ve spent years exploring music, psychedelics, and the so-called "journey inward" because I thought it was about freedom, art, and truth. But if these cultural movements were manufactured to pacify dissent, fragment communities, and control minds… then what does that say about the things that shaped me? My music taste, my drug experiences, my worldview?

I feel like committing suicide. All the music that I love, my worldview, my personality… it's all just a ploy? It's more than just this article. Weird Scenes Inside the Canyon was a recent read. Is all music and art influenced by the government? What are we even living in right now? I just feel like vomiting. I had multiple small shrooms trips planned with friends for this summer after the semester ends. I am going to have to bail because I am sure I’ll trip out now.